Marty's Bad Day
by Ms. Snarky
Summary: This is a little laugh at what I wished had happened to Marty long before she left. If you are a fan of her's DO NOT READ! SHOO! GO AWAY AND READ SOMETHING ELSE! LOL For those who weren't fans, well, read and enjoy! lol
1. Chapter 1

This is just a little laugh for those who were never Marty fans. LOL I had this idea for a while and a couple friends insisted that I had to put it down on paper (or on the web! LOL) so here it is. It is just a very short comedic type fanfic with only a few chapters.

If you are a Marty fan you definitely do NOT want to read this! Go! Shoo! Read something else! LOL But if you wished for her to get the heck out of Llanview a lot earlier than she did and you cheered on the van, then this fic's for you! LOL

Thanks in advance for any comments. I love to hear what you have to say.

Chapter 1

John sat at his desk in his office cleaning his gun. It was nice to be back at work but it wasn't the same and it wouldn't be until he got his life together and went after what he really wanted.

Natalie!

Knock knock

Sighing he looked up as SHE came in.

_Damn, her again!_

"Marty what can I do for you now." It wasn't really a question just something he felt he should say.

"Oh John! I need your help!" wheeze, spit, eyes rolling " I am soooo worried about Cole and his dating Starr! You know Todd, he won't let them keep seeing each other. He'll end up doing something stupid and I don't want it to be something to my hot ... uhhh I mean beautiful son."

Sighing again, John looked back at his gun because frankly looking at Marty made him queasy.

"Look Marty you're a doctor right? You need to figure this out on your own. I can't help you with it." _And really don't want to_, he thought.

"But John..." she increased her wheezing and panting until the papers on John's desk started to blow across it.

He slapped his hand down on them to keep them from blowing onto the floor and then picked up the phone and set it on them to keep them in place. Once again he picked up his gun to finish cleaning it.

"Marty just talk to Cole and tell him about your worries, I'm really busy right now and don't have time."

Marty approached John with her eyes rolling like a slot machine and her arms waving frantically and almost causing her to lift off the ground.

"But John..." she tried again, this time increasing her panting until John had serious thoughts that she might heave up a lung.

"Marty I said I don't have time," he leaned forward to get up but his chair suddenly tipped back.

BANG!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the reviews. LOL I probably should have warned everyone in the first chapter that my mind is a dark and scary place at times. Especially if you've ticked me off! LOL For those that know me, this comes as no surprise. So let the chuckles continue and the story be told. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 2**

Marty stood there for a second or two then hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

John looked at his gun then looked at Marty.

_Awww damn!_ _Now that's gonna leave a stain on the floor! _He thought to himself.

"John! What the hell was that?!" Bo suddenly appeared at the doorway.

John got up and stepping over Marty as she continued to lie there and now her wheezing had hit an all time high!

"Ya,... uh... I was cleaning my gun and my chair tipped back and it just kind of went off."

The two stood looking at each other, then at Marty on the floor.

Sighing very hard Bo looked back at John and said, "Well you better take care of that quick! You know you can't have a weapon that misfires like that. It could be dangerous. Have it checked out immediately."

"Sure Boss, no problem." Again they stood there looking at each other and then again at Marty.

"Looks like a hit to the gut, I guess I had better call someone to come and get her right?" John glanced back at Bo with a questioning look on his face.

A moment passed then Bo sighing again replied, "Ya I guess you'd better. Cause the cleaning staff would be pretty pissed if we left this mess for them to clean up."

Turning to leave Bo shook his head and muttered to himself _"that woman needs more than just a patch up job done, she needs a super strength asthma inhaler."_

John walked back to his desk, stepping over Marty and picked up the phone and called 911.

"Yes this is Detective McBain at the Llanview police station, we have had a bit of an accident and need an ambulance. Yes. Yes. I understand. No, no that's no problem. Sure, whenever you can. Great, that would be good. Its in my office. Sure the door will be open just tell them to let themselves in."

Hanging up the phone he thought about how his day had just seemed to go down hill and decided he really needed a beer at Rodi's. Reaching back he grabbed his jacket and started for the door, again stepping over Marty as she continued to pant and wheeze away.

As he reached the door he turned and bent down. He still found himself unable to look directly at her so instead stared over her head at a tile about 2 feet past her.

"Look Marty the medic's are on their way so don't worry you'll be fine. You just lie here and relax and they will have you at the hospital as soon as they finish their lunch break. OK? Good. See you later and hang in there!"

Getting up he again turned back to the door and turned off the light as he walked out. But he remembered to leave the door slightly open so ambulance medic's would find her.

_Be pretty hard to miss her though_, he thought. _All they have to do is follow the wheezing noise._

As he walked down the hall of the PD, John thought to himself that a burger would hit the spot right about now.

And hey maybe if he was really really lucky he just might run into Natalie and be able to convince her to play a game of pool.

_Hey maybe my day is looking up now?_ he said to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Remember, I don't own them and frankly wouldn't want to after last year! LOL

Hope you are all enjoying this! There is only one more chapter after this one. Like I said, its just a very short fic but hopefully it is making you smile and maybe laugh just a bit.

**Chapter 3**

The paramedics arrived about 30 minutes later after finishing their lunch and flirting with the waitress at the diner.

As they walked down the hall they could hear what sounded like a balloon loosing air.

"This must be it!" One of the medic's pushed open the door to John's office and saw Marty still wheezing and panting on the floor.

"Yep its her!"

The two medic's walked over pushing the stretcher to her side, then they both just stood there for a minute looking at her and then looking at each other.

"Well I guess we should load her and go, if we're real quick we can catch that cute nurse at the hospital before she finishes her shift."

They picked Marty up by her shoulders and ankles and with a heave and a swing they managed to get her dropped on the stretcher.

One of the medic's grabbed a gauze pad and slapped it on her stomach as both started to strap her down.

As they wheeled her to the waiting ambulance the two men were still arguing about who was cuter, the nurse or the waitress neither one paying much attention to the patient with the rolling eyes and flailing arms.

Unfortunately they also didn't pay much attention when they closed the back doors to the ambulance.

As they left the PD the medic's continued their argument and engaged the siren as to make quick time and get to the hospital before the shift change. Just as they past the coffee shop they clipped the curb as they made one of the turns on the way.

As the ambulance bounced off the curb the back doors flew open.

And Marty and her stretcher sailed out the back!

The medic's never noticed.

Rolling down the road Marty started screeching at a high volume.

Unfortunately she wasn't heard by the garbage truck driver and got sideswiped and flipped causing the straps that had to this point held her on the stretcher to let go.

She somersaulted threw the air landing on her stomach in the middle of the road.

Again unfortunately for Marty a mother driving her children to the mall didn't see her.

" I swear to all that is holy if you two in the back don't shut I'll turn this car around and head straight home" the frazzled mother said to her kids as they yelled and jumped around in the back of the car.

Turning to look at them and give them her "don't push me " look she missed the site in front of her.

Marty at this point had turned her head and now saw the approaching vehicle and let out a screech that sounded like a cat in heat.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"

Bump bump

"Now look what you made me do?! I missed that speed bump because of you kids! Do you realize we could have damaged the car?!" sighing the mother returned her attention to the road ahead.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own them and wouldn't want to. Don't sue!

I hope everyone got a little chuckle and it made your day a little brighter. I did warn you I have a twisted sense of humor right? LOL

Thanks for reading! And FYI, I do have Marty's Bad Day 2 done. Heeheehee, yes I am evil!

Chapter 4

The ambulance arrived at the hospital only to discover that the back was now empty.

The two medic's looked at each other sighed and said "Crap!"

Now they would miss the hot nurse and the shift change.

They were having a bad day.

After a call from the local humane society reporting a body of what they thought was a woman that had been called in to them as a dead animal on the road the ambulance returned to pick up their missing patient.

This time making sure once they had reloaded her in the back to secure the doors.

They arrived at the hospital with Marty this time and proceeded in through the sliding doors.

But one of the medic's caught site of another hot nurse and stopped dead in his tracks.

Leaving Marty and her stretcher in the path of the closing sliding doors.

The safety devise obviously wasn't working because the doors closed completely squeezing Marty and causing her to once more shriek like a banshee.

"Oh damn!" the medic looked over his shoulder to see what the fuss was all about then thought to himself lets just get her the heck into a room and us out of here! Its been a bad day.

Marty was then wheeled into a observation room as a doctor and nurse came to take her vitals (and throw them in the trash! LOL).

"Nurse, I'm stepping out for a minute please see that this patient is set up with an IV and fluids" the doctor then turned to leave having made arrangements to meet a fellow staffer for a quickie in the supply closet.

Suddenly a page went out for all available help to go to Room 35 for a code blue.

The nurse looked at Marty and thought since she was still wheezing at a satisfactory rate decided to answer the page, leaving Marty on her own.

Seconds after the nurse left another orderly came in and said, " Well they are all ready for you now. I'll just take you up for your colonoscopy. Here we go."

Marty attempted to inform the young man she was **NOT** here for **THAT** but couldn't get the words out between her panting and wheezing.

An hour later after the procedure was finished and Marty was returned to her room, her doctor also returned from his not so quick quickie.

"Well Ms. Saybrooke we're going to take very good care of you here. You just lie back and rest and I'm going to see about getting you an appointment with a lung specialist for that asthma of yours."

Marty's night at the hospital was an eventful one, filled with uncomfortable tests and constant poking and prodding.

At one point she was asked if she had ever seen a psychiatrist and that they felt it would do her a great deal of good to perhaps think of anti-delusional drugs or even shock therapy.

The next day as morning turned to noon there was still no sign of her hot... uh I mean beloved son.

But outside her door, John was talking to Michael sharing his great news and the events of last night for him and Natalie.

Glancing over at the open door John caught site of Marty now sitting up waving her arms wildly as she ate her lunch.

_Oh crap_, he thought. _Caught, damn I guess I should go in and check to see how she is after all I did kind of shoot her._

John slowly shuffled his way to her room.

But not giving her time to respond or actually say anything John started talking.

"Hey Marty, how are you doing bud? Not bad? Good!! Listen, I've got some fantastic news!! I went to Rodi's last night and met up with Natalie. We had this great conversation and after I apologized and swore I would never let her down again she decided to give me one last chance. We shared a few beers, well really more than a few and ended up closing down Rodi's. Mac left us the keys as we were in the middle of a great game of pool and well... one thing lead to another and lets just say Mac is gonna have to replace the lining on the pool table."

He said this all quickly never giving her a chance to say one word but her eyes bugged out to the point he thought they just might fall in her lap.

"Well I should go. I have a lot to do today and lots to plan. I'm asking Natalie to marry me tonight and it has to be perfect for us both! See you around town, take care. Glad to see you doing better." And with that he slapped her on the back and left.

Unfortunately for Marty she had a piece of food in her mouth at the time and with his slap to her back it went down the wrong way.

And it was at this point she realized there was a bone in her chicken.

The nurse came in and seeing her patient still wheezing and panting and now gasping said, "Oh hon we will get you that appointment with the asthma specialist pronto." And then she too left Marty alone.

After several minutes of gasping and trying to dislodge the bone from her throat Marty wheezed for the last time.

Marty Saybrooke was pronounced dead from choking on a chicken bone.

Talk about an appropriate way to go.


End file.
